Sunday, 22 November 2015

A Change in Direction

It's been a long time since I properly blogged, I kind of miss it. It was a big part of my life and I would spend a while coming up and writing blog posts. I feel like I've grown as a person from when I was into writing posts back in 2013. I now want to make this blog more about me. By that I mean an outlet for myself and being able to look back on this in the future and seeing what I got up to and how I felt. 

So for anyone who does come across this blog and happens to look back through the posts, I guess i've got some explaining to do. For ease, I will write a list of whats kind of happened since 2013 and disclose a few details which I probably wouldn't have done before:



  • I celebrated my 18th birthday back in June 2014 (ages ago). It was a milestone I would have to say, and it happened just as I finished my last exams. It was nice to the see all our close family and friends. 

  • I finished school, and got the grades needed to get into university (yay) 

  • I got in to do Medicine . First year was amazing, so many crazy, surreal moments. I've not only made great friends I've made friends for life. 

  • I've moved away from home. This was a biggie this time in 2014, a big adjustment. But I can honestly say that I'm comfortable and I feel like I've grown as person with this independence. I'd say summer 2014 before coming to uni I felt like a child, I can say with confidence now that I feel like a young adult and I'm proud of that. 

  • I passed first year medical exams and now can officially say i am a 'second year medical student'

  • I've met some amazing patients honestly. If ever I'm in doubt about the career I've chosen, just speaking to the right person can help. It puts everything in perspective and I know how blessed I am to be given this opportunity, I should never take it for granted. 

  • I've moved house! Now this is something big, I have never moved house before however this month on 6th November 2015, I went back home to see the new house. I am excited to see what new memories this house will bring (and I'm even more excited to decorate my room!)


They are just some of the milestones I can think of, I probably will write a follow up post or edit this as and when I remember. I'm excited to start blogging again and documenting may be weekly what its been like. That would be nice, a new angle for this blog, rather than focussing on who is reading, focusing on me. 

Friday, 20 March 2015

FEAR

Fear is a very big emotion. It can stop you from living your life the way that you want to and it can make your life a misery. I like many people have a lot of fears, fears that can consume my life and make even the best of days the worst. They can play on your mind and keep you up all night. So what do you fear you may ask? 

  • I fear commitment. Having someone rely on you and fearing their disappointment if you can't meet their standards. 

  • I fear love. Love can make you do crazy things, and it can obscure your judgement. I fear what it can do to other relationships in your life. 

  • I fear the death of family members, I fear the death of my mother. My mum is by best friend, she made me who I am today. A day without her, knowing that she might not be there makes me so so so sad, its almost unbearable to think about. 

  • I'm fearful of rejection. I'm fearful I will try with people and they will turn their backs on me.

  • I fear change, and knowing that everyday people are changing, what happens today will never happen again and what has happened in the past will never return. 

  • I'm scared of loneliness. I'm scared that I'll never find that one love and that my friends will one day desert me.

  •  
  • I fear the future, how unpredictable it can be. 
I fear fear itself.